Gary Gulman – The Great Depresh

Gary Gulman is a funny guy. He is tall, handsome, and charming. He seems like he’s got it all together. In his latest special, The Great Depresh, Gulman reveals his life long struggle with depression and anxiety.

I was first exposed to Gary Gulman through the comedy competition Last Comic Standing. His joke about the speed limit signs that tell you how fast you are actually going made me an instant fan.He blew up again in recent years with his stories about Trader’s Joe shoppers and How the states got their two-letter abbreviations. Gulman is a master and landing on the funniest possible word.

In 2019 he started giving daily comedy advice on his twitter feed. He loves comedy and wants comedians to succeed.

The Great Depresh starts with footage from what appears to be a open mic session in 2017. In that clip Gary is talking about struggling with a mental illness. And then it cuts to a travel and chase scene montage for the opening credits.

Gary talks more about his struggle with depression and how it was present throughout his life. He grew up as a sensitive kid during a time when it was expected that boys would be tough and men would be strong. Gary was a big athletic kid who struggled with expectations around athletics and school bullies.

This special is about an hour of jokes with cut-aways to interview/day-in-the like scenes with Gary’s mom, friend, wife, and therapist. Throughout all of this he is revealing more and more about how depression can be hidden from people (his mom has no idea) and how it can affect the people around you. One of the most powerful moments is when he is talking about Sadé, his wife, and how she was the real hero of his story. She walked with him through some very tough years.

As a child of the 80’s I found myself relating to Gary’s talking about loneliness, pressure to be a certain kind of man and not really fitting in. I have never had the depth of struggle with depression that Gulman talks about, but I understood more about depression after watching this special.

This special is very brave. Being vulnerable with strangers can be liberating, built it is also very risky. People could turn on you so fast if you admit weakness. Mental illness in particular is something that people are often afraid to talk about because there is so much stigma. Perhaps the most important thing that this special does is get all the stigma out in the open. Gulman talks about medication and the struggle of finding balance there. He talks about hospitalization and being admitted to an inpatient treatment center for three weeks. Gary talks about lack of desire for every day life. When he talks about eating ice cream with a fork because you just can’t be bothered to wash a spoon, that was all too real. Gulman talks about suicidal thoughts and the idea of writing a suicide note. He put so much of himself out there.

What the Great Depresh does really well is reveal the struggles of depression without glorifying it. Gary is not trying to portray himself as a suffering artist. His message is that if you are struggling with depression, you don’t have to suffer, and you are not alone. There is a call to action in this special, get the help you need because you are worth it.

I wish this special was more widely available. It is an HBO special an the only reason I was able to watch it was because of a free 7 day trial through amazon prime. This was the only thing i wanted to watch, so I’m cancelling my trial. There is almost no swearing and i think you could watch this with your teenager and it would probably lead to some really important conversations.

Gary, thank you for putting this special out in the world. I pray that you continue to walk in a healthy path. You are loved and you are worth it!

Mike Birbiglia – The New One

Available now on Netflix!

I have been a fan of Mike Birbiglia for years. When I first listened to Two Drink Mike I knew that he was a unique voice. I have been amazed by his evolution as a comedian. With What I Should Have Said is Nothing Birbiglia started to become more confessional. He wove observational humor in and out of the true stories from his life. He seemed unafraid to share his own health issues, foolishness, and failures. I loved it because he felt like a normal person.

He continued to evolve into a master storyteller. In Sleepwalk With Me, and My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend Birbiglia made a shift from straight stand-up to a mix between stand-up and a one-man show. These specials were so well directed and produced and tired to central themes. He didn’t use his comedy to tear people down. He consistently put himself on display and allowed his audience to enter into his neuroses and relational hang-ups.

Birbiglia released a masterpiece on the power of humor and comedy, Thank God for Jokes while was writing my dissertation. My thesis was essential that comedy can build community through the shared experience and examples of vulnerability. If you don’t want to read a boring academic paper, then please watch Thank God for Jokes.

When I first heard about Birbiglia’s latest special The New One I was eager to watch it. Every time I think Birbiglia has reached the height of his powers, his next special displays that he is still finding new ways to stretch his storytelling and finding new comedic heights.

In The New One Birbiglia shares the journey that he and his wife went on as they went from not wanting children, to trying to conceive, to birth, and even his struggles with finding his place in his family. As a father, I found myself laughing with Birbiglia as I resonated with some of his fears, wrestling with his own selfishness, dealing with health fears, and pet owners with a new baby.

Wife and kids jokes may be the most pedestrian kinds of jokes. It is easy for comedians to say, my wife is crazy and my kids drive me insane. Over and over Birbiglia reveals that his wife is amazing and his daughter is wonderful. He is the one with the problems. He recognizes that his selfishness is the problem. In one of the most vulnerable parts of his special, Mike says that he understands why dads leave. Family is hard and selfishness really doesn’t have any room in a family.

The title of this special, The New One, could have several implications.

  • This is a new special,
  • Talking about a new child,
  • Talking about a new couch (it’s important for the special),

Ultimately though, the new one he is referring to is the transformation from a family of individuals to one family unit, unified by love.

I am trying to not tell you any of the jokes in this special, I don’t want to ruin it, but if you are a parent there are so many experiences he shares in this special that is resonate with your life.

This special is not a ”family-friendly” show. There are some swearing and jokes about sex and trying to conceive. I would recommend watching this special for yourself before letting your kids watch it.

One last note, this special shows an aspect of Mike Birbiglia’s transformation into a father. The song that opens and closes the special is a great choice, “I Wanna Get Better” by the Bleachers.

There is a line in the chorus that resonated with me:

“I didn’t know I was broken

Until I wanted to change.”

This is a pretty profound statement, and as a pastor, I recognize that the gospel invites us to transformation. Sometimes we don’t recognize our need for transformation until we have already accepted that we need a change in our lives.

The New One is a story of transformation. I hope that as you watch this special your spirit resonates with the desire for transformation and that you would be open to the changes that are necessary for your life to be made new.

Advent 2019 — Follow the Star

This year at Creekside we are focusing on the Magi and the stars. The cosmos are amazing. Just take a moment and look at these stunning pictures from the Hubble Telescope. The Bible tells us that God created the Sun, Moon, and stars and that he placed them where he wanted them. As God was building the universe he knew just where to place the star that would appear at just the right time for the Magi to notice.

God the Father knew as he was creating the universe that eventually the Son, would enter into creation to restore the relationship between humanity and God. God knew exactly when the Son would take on flesh. God had all of this planned out before he created (Revelation 13:8).

When I look at the stars, I don’t see a cosmic accident of chance. I see a beautiful creation that fills us with awe and wonder. I see that God’s creation has so much beauty that one planet can’t contain it. I am reminded of God’s love and intentionality in creation.

Knowing that God has an eternal plan, gives me hope that God is not done yet. He is still working out a beautiful plan. I pray that this year Advent is full of hope for you as well.

_____________________

Just for fun:

Hubble Telescope 2018 Advent Calendar

Hubble Telescope 2019 Advent Calendar

 

Engagement

I was at the dentist this morning. (Don’t be jealous.)

I learned that the Hygienist (Anna) is a pastor’s wife. She asked me an important question. “What is the most difficult about leading a church?” This is a big question and difficult to answer at the dentist’s office, mainly because they ask questions and then immediately start working on your teeth. It’s hard to answer profound questions when your teeth are being cleaned. I have a brief moment to respond with one word.

Engagement.

I believe this is the greatest challenge that the church in the US is facing. There are so many things that are pulling at our attention. It used to be that the church’s “competition” was all the sinful behavior of the world. Now, the biggest competition is not blatantly sinful behavior. Our biggest competition all of the “good” things that we commit to.

Our culture has presented a buffet of options. The problem with buffets is never quantity, it’s quality. We fill our plates with all this stuff to consume, and it’s usually all fine. We don’t know how many times we are going to get through the buffet line, so we load that plate so full that stuff falls off the side.

This buffet mentality keeps our schedule so full because we don’t want to miss out on anything. We fill our work week with work, over-time, sports, school. We get up at 5am and go to bed at 11pm. We have very full days but we wake up every day tired.

By the time the weekend rolls around, we try to make up for lost time with recreation, family obligations, home projects, etc. When Sunday rolls around, our week has been so filled that we don’t have the physical, emotional, spiritual energy to gather with our church community this week. We say, we’ll be there next week.

But next week we get back in line in the buffet. Pretty soon, we find ourselves back at Sunday morning, worn out, exhausted, and we say, We’ll gather next week. This becomes a habit, and pretty soon we disengage and drift away.

As we have been reading through the book of Hebrews at Creekside, I have been reminded again and again, that the people of God, need each other. This Sunday, as part of the message, we are going to study Hebrews 10:24-25. This passage is a warning, to stay engaged with the community. We need us!

The hardest thing for the church today is engagement. When we have such a huge buffet of options in front of us, what are the most important things for us to pursue.

If we believe that Jesus is THE hope of the world, then our priorities in our lives should orient around Jesus. What are the ways that we can engage with Jesus?

Consider this video:

When our lives get filled with the small stuff (sand), the buffet options, there isn’t going to be room for the things that truly matter.

My prayer for the Church, not just Creekside, is that pastors and parishioners would foster engagement in the mission of Jesus in new and powerful ways. That we would not fill our schedules with all the options out there first, but to put the big rocks in first.

Here are some big rocks that we need to practice deliberately if we are going to engage with the Mission of Jesus:

  1. Sabbath – This is a great practice that helps us learn to say no to unnecessary things. Sabbath builds rest into our schedule. Put it on your calendar. Scheduling sabbath assumes that you are working, and makes sure that you are not always working. We cannot survive without rest.
  2. Prayer – Disciplines of prayer build rest periods throughout our days.
  3. Scripture – If we are only exposed to Bible teaching on Sundays, by the Bible “experts”, we are malnourished. Read the Bible throughout the week. Let God’s word shape your day and your priorities.
  4. Strengthening relationships – Have time for family and friends. Encourage each other around the dinner table, through groups.
  5. Serve others – Everyday is an opportunity to bless others. Look for ways to serve throughout the week
  6. Gather together – If you are part of church community then gathering is key. Hopefully when you gather, you are encouraged, equipped, challenged, and empowered to go out into your everyday world. And when you go out to that world, you have energy to engage in the mission of Jesus.

Engagement is key, but it doesn’t happen on accident. The mission of Jesus is accomplished as followers of Jesus engage with the teachings of Jesus, share the hope of Jesus, and open the doors for people to join the community of Jesus.

Mentors I’ve Never Met

It is important to have mentors that you can call up and work through challenges with. These people are invaluable. But I am coming to appreciate more and more the mentors that I have never met. Who are the Mentors You’ve Never Met? (MYNM)

Whenever I hear Erwin McManus preach, I am encouraged and challenged.

Whenever I read Eugene Peterson I am reminded of the value of intentionally loving and serving the community that Jesus has called me to.

When I listen to the Seth Godin “Akimbo” podcast I think about leadership and communication in new ways.

I’ve never met these three men. In all likelihood, I will probably never meet them, but it’s important to recognize the role that these kinds of mentors have in our lives.

You never know when a MYNM might become a Mentor You Have Met. I am in the doctoral program at Portland Seminary because I reached out to Len Sweet. I asked him if the topic I was interested in would fit in the program that he leads. His response was simple, “What are you waiting for? We need this!” Over the last two years I have been interacting with Len and a great co-hort of fellow learners.

Len was a writer that I began following when I was studying at Northwest University. Somewhere along the line I found his email address. I had no reason to email him for years. I was content to have him as a mentor that I never met. But at just the right time, I reached out and I was surprised by his receptivity.

Mentors You’ve Never Met may never know the impact that they’ve had in your life. I have found that it is helpful to think about who those people may be in my life. So who are your MYNM?

 

Simplicity

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of the Lenten season. This is a time to let go of something in order to focus our hearts and minds on Jesus as we approach Easter. 

I have been wrestling with how I might participate in Lent this year. The thing that keeps coming to mind is pursuing simplicity. So I will be looking for things that bring unnecessary complications into my day. With so many things going on with family, church and school I need to be extra intentional about creating space and simplicity. 

It will be an evolving project. Periods of fasting, silence, solitude, times when I need to say no so that I can hear the Spirit and say the yes to what truly matters. 

Pressure

I’ve been thinking a lot about pressure lately. Everyone faces pressure from time to time. It could be financial pressure, relational pressure, peer pressure. It seems like pressure comes in waves. We may have seasons where we feel like life is light and free and then others where it feels like everything is pressing down on us. 

I have to believe that I am not alone in this. 

Some of the most difficult pressure that we have to deal with is the pressure that we put on ourselves. Much of this kind of pressure comes from our desire to preserve our image. We don’t want people to think negatively about us, so we say yes to every invitation. This creates pressure in our time and our relationships. We want to look like we are doing well so we buy things we can’t afford to impress people we don’t even like. This creates financial pressure. We struggle with temptation and sin and we don’t want people to know so we keep our struggles secret. This creates spiritual pressure. 

There are also sources of pressure that come from external sources. Our company is downsizing, our parents are depressing, our kids are rebelling, and on and on.

Dealing with all that pressure on our own can be exhausting. I am so grateful that Jesus invites us to come to him with all our pressures and he shoulders them for us. The worries and fears and challenges that you stay up all night fretting about … Jesus wants those. 

If we try to handle them on our own we will can get crushed under the pressure. It’s because of Jesus that Paul can say,  

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

– 2 Corinthians 4:8-12

How we walk with Jesus through that pressure reveals the life Of Jesus in us and through us. 

I know in the pressures that I am facing right now that Jesus can be glorified. I know that the enemy would love for me to try to deal with this pressure on my own, but if I walk wit Jesus through this pressure something wonderful can come about. 

But I need to trust Jesusnwith these pressures and so do you. Will you give your pressures over to Jesus?

What a week

Wow.

This past week has been a bit of whirlwind.

Last Monday I discovered that my car had been burgled (I love using that word, I don’t like that I have to use it for my own experience). The thieves took my computer bag which had my laptop and my iPad. Those are two tools that I use every day. So I had to get that all taken care of quickly so that I could get back to work.

I was so encouraged as people offered to help any way they could. Thank you. Fortunately insurance really came through for us and I am (basically) back to where I started. Friends that I have known since elementary school (Megan and Justin) offered to give me a brand new iPad that they had purchased at a great deal but didn’t really have a need for. But, wow, they gave it me, and it has been a tremendous blessing.

I also saw the value of regularly backing up your computer. I have an onsite backup and a cloud back up solution. I would advise you to do likewise. I didn’t actually lose any of my projects which is great.

On Tuesday, we had an election. And it has led to all kinds of . . . interesting conversations. I have been praying for this election, and I am going to continue praying for healing in our country. Praying the the church would rise up and be good healers.

Wednesday through Friday really feel like a blur as I walked through conversations with people about the election and grace and being good citizens and good christ followers.

On Saturday I started fixing a toilet in our house. I had some difficulty getting all the matching parts as one fix, revealed something else that needed to be fixed. But I did it. Yeah, I can fix things around my house!

Also on Saturday Kathy set up our Christmas Tree. I don’t know how I feel about that yet.

Yesterday at Creekside I was encouraged as people were so kind and welcoming to people with whom they have political disagreements. Reconciliation is an ongoing worked for humanity, and I was encouraged to see that Creekside is striving to be agents of reconciliation with each other.

And now we are back to Monday. What does this week hold?

Last week had a lot of surprises. This week will have many surprises as well. How will we respond? Will we look at our challenges as opportunities to let the light of Gospel shine through us?

I am praying that the Lord would work in us and through us this week, that he would be glorified and we would see transformation.

 

Faith on display

What a wonderful time to be alive!

This week we celebrated yet another peaceful transfer of power in the US Elections.

Christians are upset on both sides of the political spectrum. One candidate has a track record of displaying their values don’t line up with core values of Christian faith. The other has actual recordings that display that their values don’t line up with core values of the Christian faith. Both make claims to be Christians. So . . . this is confusing right?

This may be one of the greatest blessings that the church in America could possibly have. Because right now we have a great opportunity to show a third way, the way of Jesus.

We have an opportunity to untie ourselves from political power grabbing and focus on proclamation of the gospel through words and deeds.

We have an opportunity to be a prophetic voice to the people in power because we are no longer a voting block that one party can depend on.

The church started out as a marginalized community, they had no political power at all. But they did have the power of God’s Spirit. The church grew and thrived because the trusted in God, not in political power. The Church grew because in the midst of perfection, they put their faith on display.

Brothers and Sisters, let’s do likewise. Let’s put our faith on display.

What does putting our faith on display look like?

  • Praying for people – expecting God to work miracles
  • Serving people – expecting nothing in return
  • Sacrificing for people – because God sacrificed so much for us
  • Setting aside our preferences
  • Living peaceful quiet lives
  • Talking about and celebrating Jesus
  • Living with joy in the midst of hardship
  • Working hard in our jobs
  • Extending grace
  • Loving our enemies
  • Asking God to be merciful to those who hate him

The world ridicules Christians and many places have rejected our message, because that’s all it is to them, a message. They haven’t actually seen faith on display. Church, we have a great opportunity to show the world that we really believe that God so loved the world that he gave his son, so that whoever believe in Jesus might have eternal life.

Let’s put our faith on display. Let’s stop letting it be theoretical.

Jesus, help us show our faith by our deeds!

Prayer for our President

Dear Mr. Trump,

On November 8, 2016 you were elected by the people of the United States to serve as our next President. In the next few months you will be establishing your team and preparing for your inauguration. It is going to be a very busy and exciting time for you. I am praying for you.

This election was very contentious. The last year and a half have revealed a lot of wounds in our nation. Racial tensions, economic frustrations, fears regarding security and terrorism are all top of mind for us right now. Ultimately, none of these things are your fault. But people are going to look to you to fix it. I am praying for you. I know that you cannot fix everything. You are just a person just like me. But I am praying that God would give you wisdom and discernment.

I’m also praying for your family. No family is perfect, and living in the public eye magnifies imperfections. Your family is going to feel the pressure of your new office in a way that few can ever relate to.

I know that American policy and the Christian faith are not always going to line up perfectly. But I am going to pray that your understanding of the Christian faith will continue to grow and that it will continue to shape your life and policy. We are all in process.

But there are some principles that, regardless of policy, should be present in all of our lives. Our motivation for service should not be power but compassion. I am praying that your compassion for the American people, the rich and the poor, the majority and the minorities, and your compassion for those who are hurting around the world would guide your administration. Compassion is a powerful force in bringing healing. I’m praying that Jesus would help you walk with compassion.

I’m praying for patience. Not everything you want to accomplish is going to happen right away. Please be patient. Don’t be rash. As president you will be entrusted to steward an incredible amount of power. To wield that kind of power responsibly will require great patience. Please be patient.

I’m praying for mercy. Many things were said about you in the election process. Many of those things were hurtful to you and people you love. Please don’t use your power to bring vengeance. Let mercy guide your leadership. Rise above the name calling. Jesus told us that when someone strikes us we should turn the other cheek. Please practice that. Let your critics reveal their own weakness and shame and don’t engage them on their level.

I’m praying that you pursue peace. Throughout the Old and New Testament peace is one of the great blessings that God wants for his people. Peace, or Shalom, is not just the absence of war, it’s also setting things right, it’s pursuing justice for others. And while we will never be able to perfectly establish shalom in our own strength, it is something that we should all pursue with the resources that God has given us.

I am praying for unity. You are no longer just a candidate for your preferred party. You are now President of the United States of America. While your party helped get you to this office, the whole nation is looking to you to lead us all. Please lead the way in building unity. Our nation can do so much when we are actually the United States. Building unity is very difficult. I am praying your vision of America is not just a vision for your party’s preferences. Show us a vision of what our nation can be. We are a great nation, show us how we can be a greater force for good in the world.

As a pastor I promised my congregation that I would never endorse a candidate from the pulpit. But I will always endorse praying for our leaders. I am praying for you. I want you to know that while I may disagree with policies and actions, I will never stop praying for you. You are my president. You are our president.

This is my prayer for you. And while you may never actually read this (I know you’re pretty busy) I am still going to keep praying for you.