So this morning I have been working AND taking care of Judah while Kathy is sleeping because she had to work last night. This has been tough. But we made it. Mondays are always tough because Judah’s schedule is all messed up because of Sunday. But he’s sleeping right now. I have been trying to get him to sleep for a while but the problem is he gets so tired that he gets himself all worked up and anxious and he can’t sleep until he winds back down.
last night at >>beyond>> we talked about Jesus telling his disciples not to worry. And I was thinking about that while Judah was screaming in my face. I know his problem and he knew his problem but he had a hard time letting me help him relax. I wonder if that is how God feels when we worry and get all stressed about issues that we are facing. He knows and he wants to help but too often we are so worked up that we just can’t let him help us relax. And while we are screaming in his face about our problems he is patiently holding us and waiting for us to get our venting out and then just says, let me do this.
One of my favorite verses is Psalm 46:10 — “Be still and know that I am God.” The only way that we are going to truly get our rest and relaxation in God is if we just trust that he’s God and we are not, and all our toil and stress and running around isn’t going to fix a dang thing. There comes a point when we just have to be still and know that he is in charge and us running around frantic trying to fix everything on our won is wasted energy. God is big enough to handle all of our worries, and all of our stress, and all the problems in the world. Ultimately his Will will be done, he will his glory, he will be God and we will worship him and give him glory by trusting him and finding our rest in him.
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Wow, that’s exactly what God has been painfully patiently trying to make me see. The whole job search has been incredibly discouraging, with tears and fears and angry conversations with God pretty much every day. My prayers began as earnest requests for something to pop up, moved on to begging, became me pretty much screaming at Him to do something, anything useful at all, and ended with me informing my mother bitterly that prayer does not help ever. But she continued to pray for me, and I prayed again and cried again and apologized to God for yelling at Him and just laid it all out for Him to take over. That was yesterday: I had a promising interview today, have a promising interview tomorrow, and got a promising e-mail from someone this afternoon. Even though I broke my promise to have faith in God and patience in His timing, it’s like He waited until I finally broke down to quietly come up and remind me that He won’t break His promise to take care of me.
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God is good. I’ll be praying that one of these leads works out for you.
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I have a second interview for the job I really want on Monday. : )
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