elusive hope

Hope. It is very illusive. I have spent the last few weeks trying to figure out what it is that I have hope in. I know that I can’t put hope in myself. Because I seem to always let myself down. I can’t put hope in people because they are too much like me. But I trust Christ. And that’s about all that I can hope in and for. That’s a very encouraging thought. That I don’t really have to have hope in the people around me, or the things around me. I can focus all of my hope on one thing. Jesus.

I am a youth pastor, and I lead a very small youth group. I have been there for about 4.5 months and I love it. But, I have been putting too much hope in my ability to lead this group, and I get very discouraged when this happens because I always realize how much I suck. I can’t be all that I need to be. But the nights that I just say, “OK God, this is all in your hands. Do your thing.” Everything goes amazingly better then I could ever imagine. I love that.

first post

My name is Jason. I have a deep passion for helping students experience the joys and challenges of the Christian Journey. The main reason that I am starting this Blog is to collect my thoughts in one place and hopefully if someone comes across my Blog, they would find encouragement and hopefully an occasional challenge.

What does it mean to be a Christian? Where can I draw the line between fundamentalism and passion for Jesus? Those are the questions that I am dealing with personally.

I wouldn’t say that I’m having a crisis of faith, but I am trying to discover who I am in my faith.

I went to a Bible College, and I earned a degree in Biblical Literature. I learned a lot about the Bible, but not a lot about being a passionate Christian. My denomination is a traditionally fundamentalist denomination and that’s great. I love my denomination, I love the structure, the support, the foundational doctrines, but I’m not as uptight as “they” have traditionally been.

This whole transformation that is going on in my life, is very confusing and a little upsetting, but everyday I have a small victory in my love for Christ, and my love for people. And that encourages me greatly. But it’s interesting because I can’t just go around and share these concerns with everybod, so I am coming here to share my concerns, and my thoughts. Hopefully I won’t become a Heretic or anything. I desire to have an authentic lifelong faith, that is constantly growing, and daily being amazed by the grace and power of God.